Dimitri's Diary
by MrsLovettMalfoy
Summary: This is the journal of the Russian god Dimitri Belikov. This fan fiction follow's Dimitri's life and adventures after Last Sacrifice
1. The Girl With The Blue Eyes

Entry 1

Dear Diary,

I know most grown men don't have a diary. I usually call it a journal just so I don't feel stupid. It was actually my Roza's idea to have one. She already knew how quiet I was that she thought maybe having a journal would get out what ever thoughts she believed that I couldn't express to her. I tell her a lot but I guess she thought I deserved a way to express my feelings or something. That wonderful woman.

Roza and I had now gone public with our relationship. And I personally thought it made us stronger. Yeah the thought of forbidden love is interesting but actually going through it is hell. I mean, when you're in love with someone for real you want the world to know. And I really love her.

Our world had changed a lot lately. Princess Vasilisa was now Queen Vasilisa. Her bond with my Roza had been broken since then when Rose was shot by Tasha Ozera. Oh Tasha. I never did think she would have been the type to shoot another woman over a man. Let alone when the man was me. I mean I knew she had a crush on me but I didn't know the crush had gone as far as love. But, I couldn't love Tasha back. For my heart was already tangled with and promised to my angel Rose.

Rose. Just hearing her name brings a rare smile to my face. I know it sounds ridiculous to most people but I really do love her with my whole heart. And I don't think anything could ever change that.

As I lay in bed awake that morning I watched Rose's chest rise and fall with heavy even breaths. I leaned close to her and gently brushed my lips against her neck in a simple kiss. Most things never woke up my Roza. But apparently a kiss from me did because she woke right up. Well more like she rolled over half asleep and kissed me. I still smiled anyway feeling her lips on mine. I kissed her back as softly as I could. It was such a gentle kiss I was surprised she could feel it.

As we broke the kiss I saw a sweet smile spread over her face. That beautiful smile that made my heart beat a little bit faster. She laid her head on my chest and I slowly ran my fingers through her gorgeous dark hair.

"Do we have to go to work today?" She asked me. I couldn't help but smile.

"Yes Roza we do. But we won't be apart forever. I just have something to do first," I said honestly.

"What do you have to do?" She asked with a mild but sincere curiosity. I kissed the top of her head before answering.

"I'm not really sure. I was called to the prison but wasn't told why I was being called," I said still running my fingers through her hair.

"Well just make sure you call me after so you can tell me what it was about," she said. Oh Roza, sometimes she is so curious that it's funny. She just has to know everything.

"I will Roza. I will. Now we must get ready for work," I stated. I knew we had to get ready for work but neither of us moved. I kept running my fingers through her hair and she kept listening to the steady beat of my heart. Something about my beating heart fascinated her. And I knew why. When we were in Russia and I was a strigoi we had spent many nights in each other's arms. And as if reading my mind Roza asked me in a soft voice a question I had dreaded.

"Dimitri…when you were a strigoi…how did you feel about me?" She had suddenly grown still.

"It's hard to remember the way I felt. But I know that I wouldn't let them hurt you. And I know that I cared about you even when I thought I couldn't. I'm not sure if it was love but it was as close as a strigoi could get," I said. I held her close and heard her sniffle.

"You shouldn't think of such depressing things my beauty. I am here now and I always will be," I said before kissing her forehead. I felt her bring her body closer to mine in a tight hold.

"I love you Dimitri," she said in a soft whisper. I smiled and kissed the top of head.

"I love you too Roza," I said. After a little while Roza and I finally got up out of bed. When we were ready for work I couldn't help but smile at her. Even with her hair in a bun and her in her guardian uniform she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

She smiled at me and took my hand walk out the door with me. Eventually it came time to part ways so she could go to the queen's suite. She pressed a gentle kiss to my mouth before walking away. God I love that woman.

When I finally got to the courts prison I was let inside by one of my co-workers.

"You have been requested by one of the prisoners Guardian Belikov," he said. I believe his name was Guardian Harris. I nodded and was lead to the third cell in the right. God I hated this place. I had been kept here after I was brought back as a dhampir. Ever since then I had a slight fear of prison.

When I got to the cell Guardian Harris left me alone with the prisoner. There she was. Blue eyes as bright as the last time I saw her.

"Hello Dimka."


	2. The Day My Heart Broke

**A/N: I would really like to thank everyone for the feedback on chapter one :) Enjoy chapter two **

Entry 2

Dear Diary,

"Hello Dimka," she said. That was how she greeted me. After everything we had been through. After all the things she had done. That's all she had to say. Hello.

"What do you want Tasha?" I asked her keeping on my guardian mask. I was trying to hide the anger that I felt boiling inside me. She had been my friend for such a long time. And then she betrayed me. She killed Tatiana. She tried to kill my Roza. Just the memory of seeing it happen came into my mind.

Roza was lying on the ground between me and the princess. Roza was fading in and out of life. I kept trying to get her to talk. I know she never heard me. I had asked later on what she remembered. She knew someone was trying to talk to her but she doesn't know who or what they said. The pain and shock had sucked her in too bad. I remember exactly.

~_FLASHBACK~_

_Roza was lying on the ground. Blood rushing from her wound. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. We had spent so long apart. I had only just gotten her back. I didn't want to lose her. I couldn't lose our love so fast. Not yet. Not ever._

"_Roza," I said through my tears. "Roza please. Please fight it. I need you. Please my Roza. Don't leave me here. Please." Tears were now gushing down my face. She had been looking at Lissa when I said this. She then slowly turned her head and looked at me. She did her best to smile through the pain. She spoke quietly and tried to croak out something. I could barely hear her. She didn't finish her sentence. But I knew what she wanted to say. And I loved her too._

_After she closed her eyes and her breathing became labored I felt like the rest of the world was gone. I couldn't control the thoughts swirling around in my head. My Roza was dying. Reality hit me when I saw people running past. I couldn't let her die. I just….I couldn't. I saw Vasilisa trying to heal her and bring her back. Guardians were pulling her away. So I panicked._

_My whole life I had been selfless. I put all moroi first. I put my family first. But right now I felt selfish. I needed her. And I wouldn't let her be stolen from me again. I couldn't let this happen. I would rather die than let her be stolen from this world._

_As guards did their best to pull the royals out of the room Vasilisa got lost in the crowd. They gripped her arms and yanked at her. On the other side of the room I saw Adrian running my way. His father restrained him from healing Roza. I knew that was what he wanted._

_And I did something I didn't expect myself to do. I attacked my fellow guardians. It was already bad enough that some people (most people) thought I was not a real dhampir again._

_I ran at the guardians who were holding Lissa back. And I was yelling. "No! You have to let the princess heal her! You have to!" I was no longer in control of my actions. My anger and pain took over. I didn't want to lose her. Not again. She was all I had left._

_As I punched and fought other guardians to try to get to the princess I looked over my shoulder and saw Rose being lifted up off the ground by a guardian. My heart began to race even more with the pure fear and panic that coursed through my veins. I began to make a break for her. I had to save her. _

_My adrenalin was rushing. All of my thoughts were scrambled together. I was no longer thinking as a guardian or even as a sane man. I was thinking as a man in love. I was thinking as Roza's lover. And truthfully, at heart, that's who I was. It's who I wanted to be._

_But, apparently, it was not my destiny to save Roza. When I was almost to her, the guardian ran out of the room and away from the chaos. My heart began to break with the fear that he may not make it in time. When I was almost there two guardians came up from behind me and tried like hell to pull me back. I couldn't stop screaming._

"_No! Please! Just let me save her. Please you don't understand! I left her when I promised I wouldn't please! Roza! ROZA!" Tears we streaming down my face as one of the guardians knocked me out to keep me back. And my vision went black._

~PRESENT DAY~

As I was brought out of my day dreaming I had the urge and the utter need to hold Rose in my arms. I wanted to get this over and done with so I could see her again. I looked at Tasha trying my hardest to keep my guardian mask on and I repeated myself.

"What do you want Tasha?"


	3. The Evil Behind These Iron Bars

**A/N: Hello! I would just like to thank everyone for the amazing support on this story. All the wonderful reviews have made my day! I would like to give a special thanks to those of you who have favorited and fallowed this story. I hope you enjpy the third entry in Dimitri's Diary!**

Entry 3

Dear Diary

Her bright blue eyes stared at me. As sad and as sick as it was she had a look of love and passion on her face. But there was also something sinister and wrong about it. But for the most part she looked like Tasha. The Tasha I had known for years. The Tasha who had been my friend before I even met Rose.

"Do I have to have a reason to see you Dimka?" She asked taking another step towards the bars of her cell. She was wearing a black shirt and jeans. Very simple.

"Tasha I don't want to see you. I don't want to be here. I have work to do," I said. She actually looked kind of hurt. But I was not about to take pity on her after everything she did.

"You should have picked me," she said with hurt in her voice. "I knew you for years. I loved you for so long. Dimka we belong together and you know it. ."

"No Tasha we don't belong together. I don't like you that way. I never did. I'm in love with Rose. I always have been. And there is nothing that can change that," I said forcefully. Her eyes narrowed at the mention of Rose. She took another step closer to the bars with hatred in her eyes.

"Dimka she doesn't deserve your love. She's a child. She's immature. And she's a slut!" She yelled. My anger boiled over and my guardian mask was useless. I pressed up against the bars and gripped the cold metal in my hands. I could tell by the sudden flash of fear in her features that I looked scary as hell.

She stepped back a bit trying to keep her smirk on her face. She was failing at it because her smile kept faltering. I gripped the cold metal bars tight in my hands. I was surprised that the bars weren't bending in my hold.

I pressed my face to the chilling iron rods as I spoke in a low and threatening voice so that I was unheard by the other guardians.

"You listen to me Ozera. Don't you EVER talk like that about my Roza. She is twice the woman you will ever be. She has my love. And you don't have anything except my hatred," I said coldly and bitterly. I saw hate and pain in her eyes as if I had just cut deeply into her heart. As if she even had a heart at all. And if she did it was probably cold and dead by now. She leaned close our faces almost touching and she whispered to me in a fridge voice.

"She deserved what she got that day. She deserved to die."

"Your treading on dangerous ice bitch," I said losing what little bit of self-control I had left.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, her expression changed to an evil smirk. She leaned even closer and whispered again.

"What wouldn't I do, for the right guy?" she asked. And before I could breathe my next breath the space between us was broken as her cold plump lips met mine.


	4. Tell Me You Love Me

**A/N: Hello amazing readers! I would just like to thank everyone for the amazing support you have given me on this story and others. It means so much to me that you like this story! Enjoy!**

Entry 4

Dear Diary

I felt her cold lips press against mine. I felt a suddenly strange feeling come over me. I knew I had felt it before. I didn't feel in control of myself. I didn't know what I was doing. But suddenly kissing Tasha was my only thought. Like if I didn't kiss her my world would fall to pieces. I don't know why I had been yelling at her before.

I felt her reach through the bars and entwine her fingers in my loose hair. I felt like someone had done that before. Someone I couldn't remember. I felt like it was somehow important to me to remember who used to do that to me. I felt like maybe the person was important to me or to my life. Maybe it was both. But it got harder and harder to think as our kisses depend. And I couldn't help but kiss her back. Her lips felt so soft.

My thought along with our kiss was interrupted by Guardian Harris coming back down to the cell.

"Guardian Belikov what the hell are you doing?!" He yelled. I pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes. And then my gaze fell to the guard. His eyes were wide with shock and he was pale as death. And I realized what she had done. She had compelled me into thinking I wanted the kiss. That I had wanted her. She made me forget my Roza.

Just the thought of Rose made me fall into a deep and sudden panic. I could remember everything about her now. Her long dark hair. Her beautiful brown eyes. Her time stopping smile. The happiness I feel when we kiss. The love we share. Everything. And I also realized I didn't know what to do.

I turned to Tasha and she lightly licked her lips. She had a triumphant smirk on her face as I growled at her.

"Don't ever do that again," I said.

"Oh you know you liked it Dimka. I bet it's even better than your little whore. Come in here with me and I will show you things that brat can't even imagine. Come on," she said in what I assumed was her trying to be sexy and seductive. It came out more like a snake.

I simply shook my head and walked away. As I walked past Guardian Harris he stared at me. I gave him a _Don't Say a Word _look. He stayed quiet.

I walked to the door wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and heard the blue eyes demon yelling for me.

"I love you Dimitri! Forever!" she screamed. That made me angry. She doesn't have my love. No one but Roza does. Oh Roza. What am I going to do when she finds out? If she finds out at all. Should I be completely honest with her and just tell her what happened? Should I keep it a secret in case she gets mad? I don't know.

As I got to Lissa's suit I nodded at the guard by the door and he let me in. I walked in to find Christian and Lissa talking in the kitchen. Rose was walking out of the bathroom. When she saw me here her brightened and the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile.

I needed her so much. After thinking of what happened to her when I almost lost her and then that stuff with Tasha, I needed her. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms tight around her.

"Tell me you love me," I said in her ear trying to keep the pain from my voice. She pulled back from the hug just enough to look in my eyes. I kept my arms clamped around her not wanting to let go. I could tell she saw the rare vulnerability in my eyes and in my heart. She always knew.

"Of course I love you Dimitri. I've always loved you. And I always will," she said. She laid her hand on my cheek and pressed her lips to mine in a gentle kiss. Before the kiss became the sweetness I needed right now she pulled away. I looked at her questioningly. She seemed to be stuck on a thought or bothered by something.

"Roza what's wrong?" I asked holding her close. She stared at me.

"Your lips. They….they taste different. They don't taste like you…"


	5. No

**A/N: Ok so I know my amazing readers were dying for this chapter because of what happened in chapter 4. So here it is. Please review! **

Chapter 5

Dear Diary

"Your lips. They….they taste different. They don't taste like you…" she said with an odd look on her face. "You taste…..bitter." I wasn't sure if I should tell her what happened. I was scared of hurting her. I didn't know what to say.

I couldn't lose her. But I wasn't sure if she would blame me or Tasha. But I knew I was scared.

"Just ate some bad gum," I said trying to sound truthful. And my more naïve Roza believed me. She smiles half-heartedly at me and nodded.

"Be happy my beauty. We are together again," I told her. She smiled fully and hugged me tight. There was my Roza. The Rose I needed. The Rose I wanted. My only love. As I hugged her back I tried my hardest to hide the nauseating guilt that was building within me. It was disgusting. But I knew I couldn't tell her. She would over the look the fact of the magic and focus on the fact that someone else had kissed me.

"Oh Dimitri you never did tell me why they needed you today," she stated as she let me go. I then began to re-panic. I hadn't worked up a cover story for that yet. Although, I probably should have. I saw the trust and obvious love in her features. The sweetness of her nature was making it harder and harder to lie. No. I wasn't lying to her. I was just simply…..not telling the truth? I have no idea what I was doing.

"They just needed me to sign some papers," I said unconvincingly. Rose scrunched up her nose. My Roza was not stupid. She was young and naïve but never stupid. She looked at me questioningly when she spoke.

"Paperwork? In the prison?" she asked. She did so not believe this. I felt the back of my neck begin to sweat. She was going to find out. I was going to lose her. I couldn't let that happen. I had to be more believable. I put on my guardian face and tried to maintain composure.

"Yes paper work. The guardian who had my work with him was visiting someone in one of the cells. I had to go and get it from him. Just the usual paper work Roza. Promise," I said. Oh god why did I say promise?! I am such a liar. Oh god.

"Dimitri what aren't you telling me?" she asked. Just as she asked that Lissa and Christian walked in the room hand in hand. They seemed so happy and so in love. Right now I would give anything to switch places with them. Because this was nowhere near pleasant. I didn't know what to do.

"Hey what's going on?" Lissa asked smiling. When she saw the look on Rose's face her smile slowly faded. Christian was smart enough to stay quiet.

"Dimitri, what aren't you telling me?" Rose repeated. I was still in a very deep state of panic when Rose's phone rang. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and answered in a very professional voice.

"Hathaway," she said into the phone. Her face was hard and guardian like. As whoever was on the other end of the phone spoke Roza stayed silent. Her eyes began moving back and forth as if she was trying to add something in her head. She slowly stepped away from me with her eyes still moving around.

"Roza?" I said as she stepped away from me.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Lissa asked her trying to walk a little closer as she released Christian's hand. Rose shakily hung up her phone and it slipped from her hand. She didn't even try to hold it. It was as if her muscles had all gone slack.

Tears pooled in her eyes as her breathing became heavy and labored. She turned pale as Lissa was. She then turned to me as tears rolled down her cheeks. And then I knew. Someone told her. She knew.

As she looked at me more tears fell. She put her hand on her chest as if clutching her aching heart. And then she whispered in the most heartbroken voice I had ever heard from her.

"No…"


	6. Those Tears In My Eyes

**A/N: I really enjoyed your amazing reviews! If you cry easy grab you tissues now! I cried just writing this!**

Chapter 6

Dear Diary

I stared at Rose's tears streaked face. Her big brown eyes wide and wet with fresh tears. She stared at me as if waiting for an answer to an unasked question. But I knew what she had found out.

"Rose what happened?" Lissa asked as she stepped up to Rose's side putting her hand on her arm. Christian was standing closer to me. Rose reached for Lissa clamping her hand on Lissa's.

"Dimitri, why? Why would you do this to me?" she asked in a shaky voice. I tried to take a step towards her but she stepped back and Lissa moved with her.

"Roza it's not what you think," I said holding my hand out reaching for her.

"I don't want your excuses," she said. "Just answer me. Why the hell would you do this to me?!" She was screaming at me now. I could hear the heart break in her voice.

"Rose what happen?" Lissa asked her as Christian moved a bit closer but not too close.

"He cheated on me!" She screamed pointing at me her tears flowing faster. "Guardian Harris caught him in the prison cells making out with that slut Tasha Ozera!" She screamed.

"HEY!" Christian yelled. He started moving towards Rose in an angry manner. My first instinct was to save her. I moved closer and gripped him by the arm. Lissa let go of Rose and put her hand on Christian's chest.

"Chris don't. She's upset. She isn't thinking straight," she said holding him back. He shrugged of my hold and was now fuming with anger. You could see it. Lissa then turned to me.

"Dimitri is this true?" she asked me.

"It…it isn't how it seems," I said.

"Yes or no Dimitri?!" Roza screamed at me.

"Yes," I said simply.

Her eyes widened because I said it. It wasn't a lie. There was a kiss.

"Roza let me explain…" I started to say. But she cut me off.

"No. You don't get to call me that ever again. I trusted you. I gave you my heart. And you broke that trust. We are over Dimitri," she yelled at me. I suddenly felt like she had staked me. My heart was breaking. She promised she would never leave me. I couldn't lose her. She was everything to me.

"Rose please…," tears were filling my eyes as I spoke. I never really got very emotional over many things. But I was losing my soul mate. And my heart was breaking.

"No," was all she said. She ripped past Christian and Lissa who were glaring at me with hate in their eyes. She pushed past me and I reached out grabbing her hand.

"Rose, please. I love you so much," I said as tears over flowed my eyes. She pulled her hand from mine. Apparently hearing me say that only made her feel more pain.

"I wish I had never fallen in love with you," she said. I could see the raw pain in her eyes. She walked out slamming the door and left me standing there with tears in my eyes and a sharp pain in my chest and an empty feeling in my soul.


	7. Me and My Vodka

**A/N: Ok I am sorry I'm a bit late on the update. This is a sad chapter, I'm warning you ahead of time. Big thanks to everyone who has stayed with this story and a big welcome to all new readers! It is a bit short but I wanted it to be a short chapter, basically detailing how Dimitri is feeling **

Chapter 7

Dear Diary

It has now been a week since I lost my Roza. I haven't been the same since the day she walked out of my life. My heart broke more and more every day. Lissa had excused me from work since if I went I certainly wouldn't do my job.

I sat in mine and Rose's apartment all day. She had left to stay with a moroi friend of hers named Taylor. She would have stayed with Lissa but I'm pretty sure after what she said about Tasha Christian would be upset and on edge the whole time she was there.

I had tried so many times to bring her back. Yesterday I went to Taylor's apartment looking for her. Taylor with her blue green eyes and shoulder length brown hair answered the door with a scowl on her face. She eventually, after an hour of begging, sent me home. Ever since I have been sitting on the couch with a bottle of Russian Vodka in my hand. I haven't slept much since Rose left either.

I had put the radio on hoping it would drown out my thoughts. It didn't help. A song came on that made me think of my Roza. What's Left Of Me by Nick Lachey. It was exactly how I felt. I sang softly and sadly along with the lyrics as they played.

"_Take what's left_

_Of this man_

_Make me whole_

_Once again_

_Cause I want you,_

_And I feel you,_

_Crawling underneath my skin_

_Like a hunger,_

_Like a burning,_

_To find a place I've never been_

_Now I'm broken,_

_And I'm faded,_

_I'm half the man I thought I would be_

_But you can have what's left of me" _

I missed her so much it killed me. I felt like a crazy person. My days consisted of going to Taylor's apartment to try and talk to her, calling her, texting her, e-mailing her, and asking her friends about her. And when I wasn't doing all that I was remembering her. Dreaming of her. Missing her. Loving her. Everything reminded me of her. Seeing her make up on the dresser. Finding her hair brush in the bathroom. Old pictures of us together. Everything. I felt lost without her. It's completely true the saying _You Don't Know What You've Got 'Til it's Gone. _

As I took a swig of the Russian Vodka I missed her even more. Russian Vodka was her favorite. When we would drink together she liked to make up silly drinking games. She once made one up that you had to take a shot every time you wanted to kiss the other person. We drank 3 bottles that night.

As I smiled at the memories I missed her even more. I wish she would come home. And as I sat alone in our apartment, watching our home movies, under her blanket, drinking her favorite drink, I knew my heart was truly broken.

I put the bottle down and curled under her blanket. It smelled like her. She had this natural smell on her combined with her perfume. Vanilla and cookies. Always the same. She knew I loved it because it was sweet. Just like her. I didn't realize how much I took her for granted until I noticed the little things missing from my life. There were so many things missing. Her waking me up with a sweet kiss, hearing her sing in the shower, and even holding her in my arms while we slept. Sleeping alone….is the worst.

So as I lay alone in our apartment I listen to the sound of my breaking heart…


	8. Her Tears

Chapter 8

Dear Diary

As the weeks past Rose still refused to speak to me. She would change homes with her friends every once in a while. Lissa had told me a few weeks after she left that Rose wasn't the same. She said she was always quiet and kept skipping work. I wondered if she was angry or if she missed me at all. I missed her so much.

From what I had heard Rose and Christian had made up and she was now staying with Lissa. I decided to use that to my advantage. When I finally pulled myself up and left the house I was hoping that she truly loved me enough to talk to me.

When I got to Lissa and Christian's apartment I knocked on the door. Lissa was the one who answered the door. We had talked lately and we decided to work together as a team to get me and Rose back together. She had informed me that Rose was there and didn't know I was stopping by. When she let me in she asked me to stay quiet so she could get Rose to come out.

I stood in the living room in my usual duster. I could tell I look different since last I saw her. I didn't have the energy or need to shave so I now had a full dark beard. That plus the bags under my eyes made me look older. Since I was already 25 looking older wasn't cool anymore.

When Lissa finally brought Rose out of her room she looked horrible and beautiful at the same time. Her gorgeous long hair was knotted up; obviously she hadn't brushed it in a few days. Her eyes were puffy and red as if she had just gotten done crying. She was wearing a pair of baggy grey sweat pants and an oversized shirt. I realized it was my shirt. It was a plain white shirt and it was long enough on her to be a dress. And even though she looked a mess I still saw the beauty in her soul and in her heart.

She looked at me. Her eyes got wide with sadness and tears filled them. Her lip began to tremble. I took a step closer to her and she backed away. Lissa tried to reach for her but she smacked her away.

"You knew he was here," she said sounding betrayed.

"Rose please just hear him out," Lissa pleaded.

"No! Why would I?" She started to walk away. And I panicked. The first thing that popped into my head was a song I heard that made me think of her. It was Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse. And I just knew I needed her. So I did the only thing I could think of. I sang.

"_But remember the time I told you the way that I felt_

_That I'd be lost without you and never find myself_

_Let's hold onto each other above everything else_

_Start over, start over_

_I'll do whatever it takes_

_To turn this around_

_I know what's at stake_

_I know I've let you down_

_And if you give me a chance_

_And believe that I can change_

_I'll keep us together whatever it takes "_

As I sang she had frozen. She had now turned to me and was crying. She had distrust and heart ache written all over her face.

"If you hadn't killed my heart, I would have liked that," she said with sadness in her features. When she walked away I held back my tears.

Lissa eventually sent me home. And as I sat in my apartment with a new bottle of vodka I missed her.

My phone suddenly rang when I decided to lie down. As I reached for my phone I didn't look at the Caller ID.

"Belikov," I said into the phone. And on the other end I heard a sound I couldn't forget. I heard crying. Crying I would always remember.


	9. IMPORTANT NOTICE FROM AUTHOR

Ok so this is a notice for all who read this story. It was brought to my attention by someone who read this story that they read it on facebook a few months ago. And here and now I would like to say YES I am the person who put it on facebook. myself and a few other friends are admins of a page that is no longer in much use called Rose Hathaway and Lissa Dragomir's Diary. On the page my admin name is Jazzy and I write Dimitri's Diary. My best friend Britt write's Lissa's Diary and my friend Taylor helps her on occasion by writing Christian's Diary. We have had two different girls write Rose's Diary since the page began but we all have stopped posting to the page. We found it was getting hard to post things on facebook and we all became too busy. I decided it was my own right to post the diary entries that I wrote on here. The other admins know about this and have no problem with it since I have full rights to it as the writer. So yes I am aware they are on both facebook and here. I put them there. Thank you to Savannah for saying something I appreciate the concern but I am the admin from that page. Just in case for those of you have seen this page I will post a notice on there as well. Thank you :)


	10. Tears and Sniffles

**A/N: Hi! I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this story I have been busy with working on my YouTube channel and working on original stories. But I am back now! I hope you enjoy this well awaited update! **

Chapter 9

Dear Diary

I heard the sniffles and cries on the other end of the phone. I would know those tears anywhere. They were tears I had caused. Tears that haunted my mind. Tears could never forget. As I sat up in bed I clutched the phone not believing this was happening. I held back the tears that stung my eyes as I spoke softly.

"Roza?" I said into the phone. I heard her breathing becoming more labored as I said her name. She missed me. I knew it. That's why she called. As I heard her voice the loneliness shone through.

"Dimitri," she said simply. She said it as if she just wanted a reason to say my name. I wondered how long it had been since she had said it.

"Rose please…." I couldn't say more than that. The tears burned in the back of my throat and threatened to sting my eyes. I missed her so much. Then as if answering my prayers and hopes I heard her voice sounding small and innocent.

"I miss you so much," she said softly. A small smile crosses my mouth. I was beginning to think I would never hear her say that again.

"I miss you too. Please, I don't want to be apart anymore," I said. I heard her sniffle.

"I'm at Lissa's apartment," she said and then she hung up. She had begun to choke up. And I knew she hung up because she was going to cry harder. I needed to save her. It had been over a moth since the kiss with Tasha. And whether Rose had forgiven me or not yet was a different subject. But I knew I had to get to her.

I quickly put on my shoes and duster and I ran out of our apartment like a bat out of hell. I ran out to Lissa's apartment. When I got there I knocked on the door. I knew Lissa and Christian would be asleep so I knocked softly hoping Rose was nearby and could hear me. And I was right.

As Rose opened the door she was wearing another one of my shirts that was too big for her. Her face was tear streaked. I felt so guilty knowing I was the cause of her tears. But in that one moment I didn't know what to do. I just stood there. She had called me here. So I knew she would know what she wanted.

As I stood there she looked up into my eyes. She slowly reached her hand up and laid it on my cheek. I felt my breathing become fast. She stroked her thumb over my cheek as tears fell from her eyes.

"Please don't cry Roza," I said in a soft voice. Her lip was trembling as she held my cheek. She laid her other hand on my chest. I couldn't help but speak.

"Rose, please. I miss you so much. Living my life without you is hell. I can't stand one more night without you in my arms. Please my love. Come home," I said as a tear fell down my cheek. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms tight around my neck and held me close. I hugged her tight and buried my face into her hair and heard her whisper.

"You are my home."


	11. Does She?

**A/N: I know this update took a very long while but I have been very busy working on my many Harry Potter fanfictions that I hope you check out. I know this one is a bit short but I am hoping you still enjoy it anyway! **

Chapter 10

Dear Diary

After Rose and I made up we went home and made it up to each other in our special way. You know what I mean. We still had excuses from Lissa and Christian not to come into work for the rest of the week. We spent every moment together. Wrapped in each other's embrace as if trying to make up for lost times and lost moments of sweetness.

As I lay in bed staring into her eyes I was trying to figure out a way to tell her how much I had missed her. How much I truly loved her. How much I wanted to keep her. I was so afraid of losing her again. I'm a wreck without her. I always will be. Because before her life was all about work. It had no real purpose. But now I have her. My Roza.

As I opened my mouth to tell her how much she meant to me she lightly pressed her lips to mine in a tender kiss. When she pulled away she was smiling softly.

"It's okay. I know," she said as she rested her hand on my cheek. I smiled at her. She always knew. Sometimes I thought we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. And other times she was a complete mystery. I didn't know which I liked better. But our life together was a great balance of both.

We spent all our time together within the next several days. And when we finally had to go back to work we still didn't want to be apart. That's why I thank god we guard people who are dating each other and live in the same place. It gave us more time to be together. We saw each other more often. And the feeling of never having to be apart from my love was a feeling I will always treasure. Because I love her with all my heart.

As I stood at my post on the wall Rose and Lissa were talking about some ball that Lissa and Christian had to attend. I watched as Roza's loose hair cascaded over her shoulders like an ocean of dark tendrils. Her skin moving from the light to the shadows with such grace and beauty. The brilliance of her plump pink lips and they mold together in a breath taking smile. Or even when that smile is graced with the precious sound that is her wondrous laugh.

How does she not see these things? How does she not see the beauty and the grace that she practically radiates? How does she not see the wonderful mystery and mischief in her eyes that still make her so alluring? The secrets those eyes must hold. How does she not see that I find her to be simply, the most sublime creature to ever grace the earth with her presence? How does she not see that I adore her? Does she notice that I count her steps when she walks away? Does she notice that I feel blessed just to breathe the same air as she? And does she take notice to the smile she brings to my face every time she walks in the room? Does she? Does she?


	12. Take My Hand

**AU:**** Just read Richelle Meade's short story for VA called Homecoming! I really loved it and highly suggest it to all you Romitri shippers! I hope you like this chapter, please forgive me for being away so long! **

Chapter 11

Dear Diary,

Not too long after Rose and I got back together were to attend a ball together. Okay I know that may sound romantic but it isn't what you think. Technically speaking, yes we have to go. But we are going because Lissa and Christian are supposed to go. Rose and I waited on the couch together leaning into each other's embrace in Lissa's suite. She and Chris were still getting ready. Although we knew them well enough to know they were taking too long because they hate these things.

When the happy couple finally came out of their room they looked pretty good. Chris, who didn't look happy, was wearing a black and white tux with a black bow tie. His shoes were even shiny and his hair was combed. Oh yeah, he was pissed.

Lissa looked beautiful. Not as beautiful as my Roza was to me but in an honorable way I can say she looked breath taking. Her long platinum blonde hair was pinned up in a braided bun. Her makeup was light and natural looking. Her dress was silk and jade green to match her piercing eyes. Her smile was bright and coated in frosty pink lip gloss as she smiled at us.

"Awe you two looks so cute being all mushy together on the couch," she said to Rose and I. I smiled at her but Roza rolled her eyes. I could tell she was not very happy about this.

When we all finally left a few other guardians went to the ball with us. Guardian Stewart, Guardian Harris, Guardian Newton, Guardian Dennison, and Guardian Phelps were all coming with us to the ball.

I kept half eye balling Guardian Harris. I still wasn't sure what to think about him telling Rose about the kiss with Tasha. I was still kind of angry because I felt betrayed. I really didn't do anything wrong. I didn't kiss Tasha. Tasha kissed me. I would never kiss Tasha. I am madly and completely in love with My Roza. Tasha…I find her gross, disgusting, vial, repulsive, evil, horrendous, and completely crazy. I would never purposefully give her a reason to think I thought otherwise. Raving mad bitch!

The ball seemed to go on forever. Lissa and Christian had to mingle with others royals. Rose and I unfortunately had to follow them all over the ball room.

I looked over at Rose who looked so bored. I gently laid my hand on the small of her back and felt her perk up. She looked at me and smiled softly. Oh how I loved that smile. I smiled back at her wishing I could hold her in my arms.

As the hours seemed to drag on I got more and more bored. The people began to clear out. We had to stay until every last person was gone because Lissa has to stay until everyone is gone. More and more people began to leave. Amongst the crowd I saw Eddie Castile. Eddie had been a good friend to Rose while growing up and was the late Mason Ashford's best friend. I hadn't seen him since we broke Rose out of prison. From what I could see he was assigned to a pretty Voda girl. I smiled softly as I saw the way she was making eyes at him. Ah young love.

One everyone was finally cleared out the only ones left were Lissa, Christian, our group of guardians, Rose, the band, and I. I looked at Rose who looked so bored. I smiled softly and walked over to the band in the corner and began to talk to them. As I heard the band begin to slowly play Rose lifted her head.

"Dimitri what's going on?" she asked me. I smiled at her.

"The ball may be over my love, but that doesn't mean we can't still have fun," I said holding my hand out to her. "Roza, may I have this dance?" I asked. She smiled at me and nodded. She slid her hand in mine. I held her close wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her close. She snaked her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. I didn't want to let her go. I danced slowly with her to the rhythm of the song kissing her forehead and rubbing her back.

Then I heard Lissa and Christian arguing with someone across the room. I loosened my grip on Rose and looked to see who it was. When I saw the face of the person across the room my arms dropped and I stared on shock.


End file.
